In the beginning...

In the beginning...

As with all other things, it had to start somewhere. In this case, the date was January 18, 2004, the date we found out Tori had diabetes. Tori is our daughter's name, short for Victoria as you probably would have guessed, and chosen because of our love for the mesmerizing sonic perfection of my favorite siren, Tori Amos. Someday I hope she gets to meet her namesake in person.

Her blood sugar was in the 800 range, and for those of you that don't know, adults with diabetes have a target range of about 80-120, and a child Tori's age should be between 100-200. From what I was told, we were lucky she was able to walk in to the hospital, not be wheeled in on a gurney in a coma.

I only remember bits and pieces of the time we spent in the hospital that week; sleeping on the floor with a couple of pillows, sleeping across three chairs lined up in a row. I call it sleeping, but there really wasn't that much sleeping involved. Waking up every time the nurses came in to check Tori's blood sugar, every time they had to check blood pressure, or get her to pee in a catch basin so they could check ketone levels really took it's toll on my body and mind.

I didn't mourn then; there was too much knowledge to absorb in a short time, learning how to do blood tests, how to count carbohydrates, and how to draw up a syringe full of insulin. And, oh yes, did I mention we also had to learn how to poke holes in our three year old daughter? I didn't mourn because I had heard of diabetes before, and I knew a few people that had diabetes, so I didn't really think much about it. After all, all you have to do is watch out for how much sugar you eat, right? Not to mention I have heard people talk about how “at least diabetes is manageable.”

I didn't know how wrong I was, and very quickly I began to learn how complex our lives had just become...

Diabetes is not about watching out for how much sugar you eat, it is a very delicate balance of counting carbohydrates, testing blood sugar, and calculating how much insulin the body needs. It is a constantly moving target, and the best way I've found to describe the whole process of “management” to anyone is that “It's like driving a car from the back seat, using rubber bands to steer the wheel.”

A Call to Action...

Last year I found out about the American Diabetes Association's "America's Walk for Diabetes," and jumped in full throttle. It was a way to make me feel like I was doing something, that I was somehow helping Tori. I was the top fundraiser in our area raising over $4,000, despite the short time I had between the walk date, and the day I found out about the walk. Additionally my team had the highest dollar per walker average, so as a result I was asked if I would volunteer to serve as the Corporate Chairperson for the 2005 walk, and dutifully I jumped at the opportunity to do something worthwhile and push forward on my quest to help my daughter.

Fast forward...

This year's walk was a smashing success, with over $33,000 raised, and 172 walkers in attendance, versus $21,000 with 75 walkers in 2004. I believe the success can be attributed to the motivated committee I had the pleasure of joining, as well as the media exposure we enjoyed because two of the committee members are employees at a local radio conglomerate of four stations that donated 75 minutes per station of public service announcements. Tori did an interview with one of the committee members who is a dj, and I have mp3's of the edited snippets that played on the radio here:

• 09-28-05_Tori_-_camp_grenada.mp3
• 09-28-05_Tori_-_describes_test.mp3
• 09-28-05_Tori_-_Diabetes_is_not_good.mp3
• 09-28-05_Tori_-_soundbyte_-_describes_shots.mp3
• 09-28-05_Tori_-_soundbyte_-_describes_test.mp3
• 09-28-05_Tori_-_soundbyte_-_diabetes_is_not_good.mp3
• 09-29-05_Tori_Mix_1_-_shots_and_school.mp3

Time for release...

A few nights ago at the dinner table Tori asked when her diabetes was going to go away, and we explained to her that it wasn't going to go away unless they find a cure. She replied questioningly “when is daddy going to have the cure for my diabetes?” I didn't think as much at the time as I was trying to make her understand that we did the diabetes walk in order to raise money for research, but later when I had time to think, I was thinking of the song “A Mother's Wish” (which to this day I can't hear and keep dry eyes) and mused to myself that there needed to be a song about “a father's wish” when I remembered her line “when is daddy going to have the cure for my diabetes?” and all I could think about was wishing I could fix her. It was at that exact moment in time I decided I needed an outlet for my frustrations, and the Diabetes Dad blog seemed like a good venue.

That's all for now...